I didn't shave. On purpose
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Two words: blizzard sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize