plz talk dirty to me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
