My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
