i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
