She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
