No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
