It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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