What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
