I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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