how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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