I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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