you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
