Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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