Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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