My nipple is on Facebook.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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