I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
