her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
