# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude i'm inner monologue high
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
