Heybabeimwearingurpanties
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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