All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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