i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there was a trapeze. enough said
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
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Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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