Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
