google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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