Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
