I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Are we in a gay sports bar?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
