is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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