Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
