You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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