I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
