Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He passed out mid-signature
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
