This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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