After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
