you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
