I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
