we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
