HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
