Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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