feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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