I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
