it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
