Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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