My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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