I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
