shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
