Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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