i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My ass is underappreciated
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
