you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
