when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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