evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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