i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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