Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
