I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
