There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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