I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
