I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
